it happens.
rhythms, systems, and routines that were once amazing assets for us no longer work.
and that’s okay! our needs change. therefore, our rhythms, systems, and routines should totally change, too.
because yeah, so much of motherhood is unpredictable - recently KK had a nastyyy double ear infection and I unexpectedly had to cancel my whole life for a few days. but so much of motherhood is…pretty mundane and repetitive. (and I say that with the utmost affection.) and that’s where I love to think to rhythms, systems, and routines from which we’d benefit in this current season. sure, they bring us some calming structure, but there’s so much more: rhythms, systems, and routines automate what’s important to us, they take care of us, and they prioritize what brings us joy.
so whenever I start to feel consistently meh or notice that we’re running into the same frustration over and over again, I evaluate our current needs and priorities. and oftentimes I discover that we’d benefit from a few tweaks (or maybe a complete overhaul!) in our daily life, in our rhythms, systems, and routines.
it’s so much fun - the assessing and brainstorming and dreaming.
let me think aloud through a current example of ours!
current needs + current frustrations we were having:
Let’s first think through my big list of things, systems, and routines that help me feel my best. Thinking through first what makes me feel my best really helps me brainstorm.
(I’m always updating this post and it’s the best place to start to get a lot of FAQs answered!)
We’re pretty much back to the consistent warmer weather in Texas. YAY! Which means I want to be outside more each day. (My anxiety is so much better when I am.) But when can I organically make that a priority? I still really love our current morning rhythm, so I’m not really wanting to change that too much.
I miss reading and I miss libraries. So I joined two of our nearby libraries, rekindled my love for my Libby app, and subscribed to Audible again. Could audiobooks be my new thing to listen to in the car? That would fix my growing fatigue associated with driving. Could I also use my airpods to listen to audiobooks when doing mundane tasks at home or while walking? Or even when KK is playing independently? Could I make “charge airpods” one of my Sunday routines? Could Library storytime be apart of our weekly rhythm? And if so, when?
KK is officially more active, more curious, and more fun. But the time after nap but before dinner is feeling a little…stale? slow? not my favorite? Basically this time of day (~3:30-5PM) needs a refresh. Can this be when we get some outdoor time in? How will that look? Could I add any particular outdoor toy(s) to KK’s birthday list?
Our overall weekly rhythm needed a refresh, too - I love to assign certain outings to certain days to give me that structure (and automation!) I crave. I try to only do mutually-beneficial outings with KK - activities that she enjoys, but also activities that I enjoy - for me that’s one of the keys to enjoying motherhood. Where do I love to go with KK, can we incorporate these activities into our weekly rhythm, and how do I want our weeks to look in this current season? Where would we go for our morning outings, but also what would we do from that 3:30-5ish PM time?
Tuesday morning’s outing is easy - we have a playgroup at KK’s preschool. What about the other mornings?
I missed swimming, so we joined a gym with the best swimming set-up. (See more about why we joined a gym with good childcare here.) Let’s say Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings are days we go to the gym, whether that be to swim laps (and drop KK off at childcare), or take her to the pool to play. Bam! Done! Love that automation to prioritize pool time - something that brings us a lot of joy.
We have a four-times-a-month pass to Fit4Mom classes at a nearby park. My favorite classes are when the weather is beautiful, when the class is smaller, and when it’s towards the end of the week. Maybe let’s say Thursday or Friday morning is our day we go to a Fit4Mom class, depending on when the weather is better and the class is smaller? And if it’s poor weather or a large class, we can head to our library storytime or our gym instead?
We got an annual membership to the loveliest private park near our house. It has an awesome play ground, a dog park, a splash pad, plenty of hiking trails, and other nice amenities. I love the park, but not enough to go there every day. Maybe this is something we could do after KK’s nap a day or two each week? What afternoons would work best? If we did Friday, Brett might be able to join?
And so on. I’m thinking out loud here.
Obviously if these plans don’t work one day, we can totally go for a good neighborhood walk or visit my parents or play at home or or or. But it’s so nice to have a weekly rhythm of things that we love to do in place. I don’t like taking time each night going, “Oh, what are we going to do tomorrow?” I like it being already decided, and being able to tweak or deviate if necessary.
(And of course, life happens. And we have to deviate from our weekly routines and our daily rhythms and our meal rotations and that’s okay. I just like knowing those weekly routines and daily rhythms and meal rotations are there for whenever we need them.)
Hmm. What do I want the rest of our weeks to look like? Let’s think through a few other factors this season.
We live on Brett’s income, so we’re very intentional with our spending. But with inflation, we’re having to be even more intentional. Keeping our gym membership is our top priority for my mental health, which means I’d rather cut down on our eating out. And since we would really like the option of getting Saturday donuts and/or something quick for Sunday lunch, we’re going to remove Friday Take-Out from our meal rotation altogether. (Having Brett order take-out for dinner was becoming wayyy too costly anyway for what it was, so really I’m thrilled to remove this from our meal rotation.) Which means I need a new meal rotation in this season.
Friends introduced us to the most darling food hall nearby, with the most amazing, gorgeous outdoor space for play. Which got me thinking - could we go once a week after her nap now that we’re getting into the warmer months? I could get a lemonade or soda or ice cream or snack and sit amongst the gorgeous trees, watching her play or walking around with her? We could go by ourselves, or with friends/family? Could we do this every Wednesday after nap but before dinner? That would be delightful, and removing Friday Take-Out from our meal rotation means I could definitely splurge on a weekly treat, especially if it gives me access to an outdoor space both KK and I love. (If it’s poor weather, could we play at home that day? Or find an indoor playscape?)
KK and I love joining our friends at the pool Thursday evenings. We head to the pool after nap, we swim, we shower, we get the kids in pajamas, we eat dinner by the pool, we head home, and KK goes straight to bed. (And Brett gets some alone time after work, which he appreciates.) Since I’m packing a dinner for KK and me to eat by the pool, could Thursday Night’s new dinner theme be Leftover Night? I’m sure Brett would be more than happy to eat leftovers while we’re at the pool.
Here’s what we bring to the pool (and the gym)!
I wish I were better about using our carwash membership. I always drive by it and think, “I’ll swing by next time.” I wonder if I can assign going to the carwash to a certain day?
Given the rising prices of everything and us living on one income, prioritizing a housecleaner in our budget won’t be happening anytime soon. (And that’s okay.) Our cleaning schedule is still serving us very well. However, I’m wondering if we can make Sunday our day to do a quick tidy of the backyard? Sweep off the patio and wipe down the chairs and pick up dog poop? Warmer weather and my desire to do some afternoon outdoor play means it would benefit us to keep our backyard in better shape.
Hmm. I’d really like eventually to have a mud kitchen in our backyard as an outdoor play option. Maybe a sandpit like the one KK loves at farm school, too. Let’s start saving for that. Maybe a good Christmas present this year.
Gas is getting so expensive. I need to make a point of actually swinging by Costco once a week to fill up my car since their gas seems to consistently be the least expensive in our area.. What day could we do that? I’m already in that area on Tuesdays for KK’s playgroup, so maybe let’s make Tuesday Costco day to get gas. But also - my brilliant friend Lisa mentioned whenever she goes to Costco, she picks up a whole pizza from the food court and serves it for dinner that night. Since we’re no longer doing takeout on Fridays, what if our new treat was to do a Costco Pizza every Tuesday?
And what if I made a point to serve the pizza with some sort of variety of veggies and good ranch dressing? (I could make the ranch dressing or pick up my favorite ranch from a restaurant conveniently right next to Costco?) Admittedly I’m not very good at prioritizing raw veggies (simply because I myself am not a huge fan), but I need to be better about trying them and the leftovers would be great for lunchboxes, so serving veggies on Tuesdays with pizza, would be really, really beneficial. (Not to mention quick!)
But also? With groceries getting so expensive, a potential weekly trip to Costco would really help. Because there are things that I do really like buying at Costco. And while I love our weekly curbside pick-up order from our grocery store, I’m growing frustrated with the produce - both with the quality and the price. Being able to pick out my own produce from one of my favorite sources - Costco! - would be so helpful. Not to mention I’d have a weekly opportunity to pick up our Costco must-haves, if needed.
I’d love if Brett came to the pool with us weekly. Right now that’s the indoor pool at our gym, but as it gets warmer that could be the outdoor pool at our gym, or the pool at my parents house. Could this be a Sunday morning ritual for Sunday Grill and Chill? Could we get a carwash on the way to the pool, have a family pool date, then grab a quick, special lunch (like Brett’s favorite burger, or that sub shop we like?) on the way home? (Can you tell swimming makes me so happy?)
See our pool (and summer!) essentials here.
KK and I are packing lunches almost every day. Could we move all our lunchbox supplies to the over-the-door organizer on our pantry door so it’s all easy access for me?
Let’s also keep a bag packed for the pool and a (separate) bag packed for the gym and a purse packed for normal outings. Less packing/unpacking. And I’ll keep my wallet, keys, phone, airpods, sunglasses, and chapstick in a zippered pouch, and I’ll just toss that zippered pouch into whatever I’m needing that day, whether it be a bag or just the stroller.
Brett works from home, which means he eats all of his weekday lunches at home. And we’ve learned we do well when we have grilled chicken on hand that he can turn into sandwiches. But we’ve learned we do really, really well when we have fixings on hand for quesadillas, burrito bowls, tostadas, nachos, etc. Which got me thinking: can Brett grill plenty of chicken every Sunday Grill and Chill? And can we unofficially have a big spread every Sunday of Build Your Own Grilled Chicken Quesadilla/Tostada/Burrito Bowl/Etc? So that way we have those in our fridge allllll week for easy lunches/leftovers? That would make us love to eat at home even more.
I love our current Monday Sandwich Night, so we’ll definitely keep that. But what about the other nights? If I’m making a point to do some outdoor play with KK before dinner, I’d love to take care of Future Haley by helping out with dinner. (And so take-out doesn’t seem tempting.) Could I better utilize my favorite freezer prep sessions for make-ahead dinners? What if we made “quick, make-ahead, or crockpot” a dinner theme for Wednesday and Friday? That would give me the loveliest permission to enjoy that afternoon outdoor time. And if we’re thinking of doing that food hall on Wednesdays after nap, could Monday and Friday after nap be our favorite nearby park?
And so on.
You catch my drift? I envision how I want our days, our weeks, to look. I refine and tweak and reevaluate whenever needed. These years are fleeting, and I want to enjoy them. Rhythms, systems, and routines make that happen for me - they help me prioritize what makes me happy.
And of course, life happens. And we have to deviate from our weekly routines and our daily rhythms and our meal rotations and that’s okay. I just like knowing those weekly routines and daily rhythms and meal rotations are there for whenever we need them.
Here’s my new meal rotation I created after this brainstorming session! And I’ll be sharing on Instagram soon a peek into our new weekly rhythm, so keep an eye there. (I’ll definitely be sharing those posts in my weekly newsletter, too.)
But in the meantime:
watch my Instagram stories - I’m always sharing a peek into our days there
read about how I created our original meal rotation here
see our daily rhythm here
