bless y’all for this blogpost request.
this is an area I love. love love love.
i want my kids to grow up and know that their mom loved her daily life, but she also loved holidays, traditions, and birthdays.
and because life is short. and i want mine peppered with joyful rituals and intentional celebrations.
so here’s my list of how we make it all a little easier, a little more streamlined, and a little more enjoyable.
we keep wishlists year-round
because yeah, it makes gift giving easier. I can pull up KK’s wishlist or that list I keep in Google Keep of ideas of things Brett needs/wants, and it’s an excellent starting point for holiday gifts.
its the first thing I reference when brainstorming our Mr. Valentine gifts and our Easter baskets - more on these in a second.
by keeping a year-round wishlist, it stays full of things we could actually use. i don’t know about you, but when I waited until the last minute to make a wishlist, I could never think of anything. but this way, I’m always able to add to it whenever an idea strikes. KK will need a new swimsuit soon? add it to the wishlist. i’d really like a new pair of spatulas and that cute pair of walking shoes that mom had? add it to the wishlist. consider the wishlist the ultimate brain dump.
but also? it keeps me from overspending now. because if I see something that would be perfect for KK or Brett (or me!), instead of buying it every single time, I instead add that thing to our wishlist.
when I see something shared on Instagram I might like, I add it to my wishlist. whenever someone recommends a book that piques my interest, I add it to my wishlist. oooh, my magazine recommended a cool little grilling gadget! add it to the wishlist.
similarly, having a wishlist also helps for sales. KK’s wishlist is an Amazon wishlist so I get notifications if something drops way below in price. similarly, for those big sales like Black Friday and Prime Day, Brett’s (or my!) wishlist gives me a reference point for things to search to see if they are discounted. if something on brett’s wishlist (or KK’s or mine) goes on deeeep sale, I may buy it and stash it away for a gift.
or, sometimes we come across unexpected money. whether that be birthday money or leftover money in the budget. the first thing I’ll check is our wishlists.
we’re very fortunate KK has a few people in her life that ask for a wishlist - they want direction on things that would be actually helpful to give. it’s an incredibly easy way we stock her library and an incredibly easy way to acquire materials we’d like to have for activities. would I like a certain book for KK? add it to the wishlist. does that activity with ice cubes and pom poms look fun? add an ice cube tray and a bag of pom poms to the list. like, my sister bought KK’s sensory table off her wishlist and we are so, so grateful.
we add a link to our wishlists to our Favorite Things + Gift Ideas spreadsheet we share with loved ones. more on that in a second.
we love asking for experiences, books, and magazine subscriptions
the best gifts. the easiest way to stock our library, the easiest way to ensure plenty of adventures…the easiest gifts that give back all year long. more on this in a second, but you’ll see we love asking for these things, and I love incorporating these things into our Gift Formulas, our wishlists, and our birthday traditions.
here’s the list of experience ideas that I reference for inspiration.
we have a simplified gift wrap stash we keep on hand
also, hi, hello. one of the biggest, most helpful things I ever did for myself was invest in a pile of streamlined, simplified gift wrap I love. so we hung a door rack on a closet door, and I bought a few of my favorite gift wrapping staples. and while this might seem trivial, whenever I do need to wrap a gift - which, let’s be real, is inevitable between holidays, meal trains, new babies, just-because treats, neighbor thank yous, and birthdays - I’m always so happy to have done this.
these, these, and these plain gift bags (I also use these for my business)
plain wrapping paper like this (could also be used for future crafts, projects)
custom gift tags from my sister’s shop
we have a few that say “a gift from haley wynn” or “a gift from julie kaye” so that all we have to do is tie it on the bag - works for birthday gifts, meal trains, anything!
the back of the gift tags are kept relatively blank so it’s easy for me to write a quick note on there if I want, or instead I grab from my stash of…
custom notepads + stationery from my sister’s shop
while this is helpful for things other than gifts, it’s 10000% amazing to have on hand for when I want to include a longer note - like, if I’m dropping a surprise off on someone’s doorstep, if I want to include reheating instructions with a meal, or if I want to write a sweet note to a bride.
one of my birthday traditions is to invest in some new stationery/notepads/etc just because they bring me so much joy.
black sharpies
because I used to have a hand-lettering business, I love hand-lettering on gifts, whether that be their name on the bag of the gift tag, or their name written big across a wrapped gift. (i’m an awful gift-wrapper - hence the emphasis on gift bags here, so at least when I do have to wrap a gift, the big, pretty name detracts from my horrendous wrapping. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.)
ribbon - mainly a white spool like this to let the gift tags pop, but I may expand in the future
side note: I keep our Christmas wrapping paper in this organizer in our attic with the rest of our Christmas stuff.
other side note: if you enjoy running to Target to get a special gift bag, do it. I just don’t. if you enjoy reusing gift bags given to you, do it. I just don’t (and, for me, I enjoy that I don’t have to weed through gift bags to find the appropriate theme - my plain gift bags work for everything). my point here is a gift wrap system that works well for you and that you love is such a nice way to take care of Future You.
we budget for celebrations/traditions/holidays/gifts
because our budget should reflect our priorities, and celebrations/traditions/holidays are so important to me. and by setting money aside for this, our budget gives us permission to indulge a bit on, say, Brett’s Father’s Day steak.
we have the following lines in our Budget that we add a little bit to every month of the year.
Family Photos
all our simple systems for photos and preserving memories explained here
Mr. Valentine
Easter Baskets
My Birthday Traditions
Brett’s Birthday Traditions
[Other] Celebrations + Traditions
consider this the catch-all fund for anything outside the prior categories.
we rely on our Yearly Tasks + Expenses list to remind us
because while I love intentional celebrations and joyous traditions, I can’t be expected to remember them all. our “yearly tasks + expenses” list writes out - broken down by month - how we love to celebrate the aforementioned joyous moments and what all we need to do in advance to make them happen.
this way i don’t forget, say, ordering waffle toppings for Valentine’s Day breakfast or sending our dear friend’s birthday postcard.
(also in that list? annual appointments, household chores, subscription renewals, etc.)
we have a Favorite Things + Gift Ideas spreadsheet we send loved ones
i read of a family who did something like this and i was in LOVE.
we send a Google Sheets document out to cherished loved ones, with tons of questions like “favorite color,” “gifts I always love receiving,” “I always appreciate gift cards to…,” “favorite prepackaged snack,” “favorite Starbucks drink,” “link to Amazon wishlist, if any,” etc.
because yeah, we have a tab that’s filled out on us of our absolute favorite things and gift ideas for them to reference. but also? there’s a tab for them to fill it out, too. it’s the loveliest thing to have on hand. need a birthday gift idea? check the document. want to send a care package? check the document. would love to grab them a quick treat? check the document.
it makes gift giving and surprise treats so much fun.
here’s a template of our document as an example, if you’d like to see! feel free to make a copy for yourself.
similarly, we also keep a separate Google Sheets with all our loved ones’ addresses - perfect for holiday cards, surprise snail mail, and care packages alike.
we have gift formulas
I love having gift giving themes and gift formulas - for the same reason I love traditions - it simplifies everything. i also love having gift giving themes that honor useful things we’d love to receive. here are some of our gift formulas.
i don’t really do seasonal decor
but it’s totally okay if you do! it just doesn’t bring me a lot of joy, so I prioritize other things each season that do bring me joy. here’s a list of what I like to prioritize instead.
so all that to say, identify the seasonal things that make you happy, and lean into them hard. life’s too short.
we have split responsibilities
one of the things Brett and I really love is that we have definitive split responsibilities. (bear with me here, I promise this ends up pertaining to holidays and celebrations.) this clears up so much mental space for us.
like, one of his split responsibilities is Trash Day. he is in charge of making sure our trash/recycling cans are by the curb in time for Friday morning pick-up. I do not nag, I do not remind: this is 1000% his responsibility. and yeah, in the last four years, he’s forgotten, maybe, twice. and the natural consequence is that we had double the trash, our garage got a little smelly, and Brett was frustrated. but then he never missed Trash Day again for a long, long time. and I never think about Trash Day, because it’s not my responsibility.
similarly, one of my responsibilities is the mail. we do not waste any energy asking, “Did you get the mail today?” “Hey, on your way, do you mind picking up the mail?” etc etc etc. We just know that Haley will get the mail whenever she gets the mail. And that’s that.
or, like, I’m in charge of laundry. Brett never thinks about it. But Brett learned early on that only things that get washed are the things that make it into the hamper. My responsibility is washing clothes, not going around picking up dirty clothes. :) Or, I clean the bathrooms. And Brett learned early on that his side of the bathroom will only get cleaned if it’s picked up and devoid of any empty contact cases/facial hair remnants/used Q-tips/etc. My job is to clean the bathroom, not pick up gross boy things. :)
being married to me is a hoot. BUT. I don’t ever Rage Clean or resent Brett, so our system works so well for us.
one of our biggest split responsibilities is regarding extended family. I’m in charge of my family, Brett’s in charge of his. I’m in charge of planning dates, scheduling meet-ups, RSVPing to invites, sending out wishlists, asking for wishlists, talking holiday plans, setting holiday gift budgets, buying gifts, thanking for gifts, coordinating meals, organizing potluck menus, arranging get togethers, texting KK updates, etc etc etc. Brett’s in charge of the same for his family.
I cannot emphasize this enough: this works so well for us. You do whatever works best for you!
our fridge whiteboard and our fridge calendar really help us stay organized and stay on the same page.
we celebrate birthdays as adults
big time.
here’s my list of the eight things I do to celebrate my birthday. it’s a list of my personal traditions, but there’s a question at the end of each to help you create your own traditions.
we used to go on a trip for Brett’s birthday, but between a pandemic, past morning sickness, and budget restraints, that fell off. we’re currently deciding what his birthday traditions should be, but one of which we’ve decided on is Annual Pretzel Dinner.
and, for each of our birthdays, my mom, my sisters, and I get together to go to the spa. we recently started doing this as adults to celebrate. it’s so much fun being together, and the birthday ritual is just so delightful.
brett and I go on a holiday planning date
in September/October, I take Brett on a date and we talk about what we’d love our holidays to look like this year. a roughhhh draft of our plans and priorities for the upcoming months, if you will. like, last year we decided we wanted to block off Christmas Eve evening and Christmas morning as time spent under our roof, just the three of us. this year we decided we wanted to do that again, and what about hosting a cozy family Christmas brunch at the beginning of the December to kick-off the season? and do we want to go to that light show exhibit, say, that second weekend - or was it even worth going to? do we maybe want to see my family on this day? hey, any ideas about what we should eat Christmas morning? taking time to dream about what we’d like the next few months to look like is so much fun (and makes saying no to the things not meant for us so much easier.) I love our holiday-planning date.
we do leave the season pretty open to just enjoy. maybe new traditions form, maybe we just do something once this year - there’s no pressure. we also say no to a lot of outings and parties, as we do like our month to be on the slower side. :)
but, we do have a few traditions we keep bringing back each year. and we love them.
we Decide Once for holidays (the best Lazy Genius principle)
we’ve been asking ourselves about each and every holiday and celebration: “what would truly excite us about this day? what do we want do together? what would be fun to do now and as our family grows? how can we make this day a special celebration? what traditions do we want to have as a family?” and while, yeah, it was because we now had a child and I wanted our lives peppered with joyful traditions and intentional celebrations, there’s also another added bonus: simplification.
because, as one of my favorite books ever talked about, there is power and freedom in deciding once. because we waste energy when doing the whole dance of, “I don’t, know, what do you want to do this year fo {insert holiday or celebration here}?” if you can pinpoint right now what you authentically love for that holiday and what would genuinely get you excited for, say, valentine’s day, assign it to that day. do it every year. decide once. no need to reinvent the wheel every year if you can figure out now what you’d love - we have plentyyyy of other things in our life to have to think about.
like for New Year’s Eve, we eat fondue, but for New Year’s Day we do an epic hot dog spread. and for our family’s birthday (aka our wedding anniversary), we make an amazing charcuterie board, we plan a special family adventure, and we enjoy some Whole Foods cakes (as a nod to our spread of several Whole Foods cakes at our wedding!)
(see full list of our traditions here, if you want more ideas!
of course - like our routines - the minute something is no longer serving us in our current season, we let it go and we reevaluate.)
but for now, that deciding once makes things so easy. so even when I’m not feeling well or man, I’m tired, or hi, i have a toddler and a three-week old, those family traditions are automated, guaranteeing us a special celebration.
and, like i said, i want my kids to grow up and know that their mom loved her daily life, but she also loved holidays, traditions, and birthdays. and because life is short. and i want mine peppered with joyful rituals and intentional celebrations.
xo, h
