yes, it’s october.

yes, i’m the weirdo that has to plan wayyyy in advance what we’re doing gift-wise for christmas.

OTHERWISE I FALL PREY TO THE SIREN SONG THAT IS SEASONAL GIFT GUIDES.

y’all, i’m serious. unless I have a strict game plan in place wayyy in advance, I will be like, “oh, you’re right, cutesy blogger! i DO need that pretty trinket!”

repeat a thousand times over for each of those thousand million gift guides.

baby haley made so many mistakes. woo buddy.

so now, at the wise old age of 31, I’ve learned that our holidays go smoothest when I:

set aside money all year long for the holidays
take Brett on a date in September/October and talk about what we’d love our holidays to look like this year. a roughhhh draft of our plans and priorities for the upcoming months, if you will. like, last year we decided we wanted to block off Christmas Eve evening and Christmas morning as time spent under our roof, just the three of us. this year we decided we wanted to do that again, and what about hosting a cozy family Christmas brunch at the beginning of the December to kick-off the season? and do we want to go to that light show exhibit, say, that second weekend - or was it even worth going to? do we maybe want to see my family on this day? hey, any ideas about what we should eat Christmas morning? taking time to dream about what we’d like the next few months to look like is so much fun (and makes saying no to the things not meant for us so much easier.) I love our holiday-planning date.
sketch out in October what we need, would really like to have, or could use often in the coming year, and I make lists of potential Christmas gifts.
allocate which gift ideas go where. I brainstorm what should be apart of brett’s and my joint gift tradition, I brainstorm what Santa should bring us, I brainstorm what will go on our wishlists for Brett’s family, I brainstorm what we should get KK, I brainstorm what my parents should get us.

and really I add to and edit the lists all month long as new epiphanies occur to me. like when I’m folding laundry and notice I would really benefit from a new bra. (linked my absolute favorites.) or when I’m scrolling instagram and see dear friends enjoying an exhibit one weekend, and it occurs to me a membership would be a nice thing to get our family for Sunday Grill and Chill.

and then here’s the kicker: I try to avoid the gift guides and the blogposts and the instagram stories as much as possible until after the holidays pass. because I know myself and they’ll just tempt me to buy, so I try to remove that temptation altogether.

because having a plan helps immensely. but taking a little social media break helps even more.

and, let’s be real, a social media break in december is the perfect time for me to focus on family and recharge for the New Year. win, win!

so that said, for those that would like to see an example of my list, here’s our Christmas Gift Plan of 2021.

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brett’s and my joint gift tradition

basically we were tired of the same old, “I don’t know, what do you want for Christmas?” year after year, so we decided to instead start a gift tradition that gave us a yearly reminder (and excuse!) to invest in both our home and our marriage. a push to splurge on our two havens, if you will.

so each year for christmas, we receive joint gifts in three specific categories:

Something(s) to increase the comfy + cozy factor of our home
- Oftentimes during the year, we think, “Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if our home had XYZ?” Like, a tiny change. That becomes a passing thought and sometimes never acted on because important things (like HOA dues! and groceries! and toll road bills!) need to be paid. I love this category in our Christmas Eve Box because it gives us permission to intentionally indulge in something that makes our home that much more enjoyable and cozy. A new kitchen toy, upgraded linens, cozy home clothes, etc.
Something(s) to strengthen our marriage + cultivate intimacy
- It’s so much fun having a gift category specifically for this - it allows me the yearly reflection of asking, “What do we enjoy as a couple? When do we feel closest and most connected as a couple? What would I like to do more as a couple? What new thing would I like to try as a couple?” and from there, I choose a few gifts.
- I won’t bore you with what I bought in the past years - you can use your imagination. and because I don’t want my answers to limit the possibilities of this category, as every couple is different - but know I love love love this category. So does Brett. :)))))
- ALSO! There can definitely be overlap between this category and the next, as dates can arguably/definitely strengthen a marriage + cultivate intimacy.
Something(s) to do together in the coming year
- I literally get giddy thinking about this Box. The last part is all about indulging in adventures and experiences for the New Year. Could be for KK-friendly adventures for Sunday Grill and Chill, could be for adults-only dates, could be for things we can do at home, could be items that elevate our current family rituals. This is especially good about holding us accountable for going on dates - because let’s be real, sometimes we get so consumed with adult stuff and home stuff and work stuff, that we’ll look up and realize it’s been a hot minute since we’ve done something outside of Netflix and dog walks. Enter this category of The Box. SO MUCH FUN. Even better, a whole slew of stuff goes on sale between Black Friday and Christmas (gift cards and memberships in particular). so that also inspires what we might grab.

here’s the full blogpost on this tradition. it answers a lot of FAQs, it lists out what we received in the past four years, and it details what we’re getting this year. i cannot emphasize enough how much I LOVE this tradition.

what kk’s getting from us

we loosely follow the “play/read/wear” gift formula. (we also do this for our Mr. Valentine baskets.)

you’ll notice i’m big into gift formulas. because, like I mentioned previously, without some sort of strict plan or rigid parameters, the wheels on this train fall way, wayyyyy off. and because, if I’m spending money on gifts, I want to make sure I’m intentionally spending that money.

wear: new pajamas
read: a few books for her January and February bookshelves
play: a set of squigz, winter-themed non-toxic playdough (probably from this shop), and these winter-themed play dough stamps
- also ordered an ever-loving POODLE PULL TOY at the height of my grieving and decided to set it aside for Christmas. it’s the most precious thing ever and a perfect nod to both our three poodles, but also to the fact KK’s first word was “dog! dog! dog!”

what santa’s bringing us

for KK, santa brings anything I’d rather set out and display instead of wrap. (think last year’s Nuggets.) i try to get her things that would not only last this year, but potentially in the coming years and as she potentially has more siblings. things that grow with both her and our family. (again, think last year’s Nuggets.)

for us, santa brings a few trinkets/shirts from our alma mater (where we met) since we love this yearly excuse to stroll down memory lane. and we love a reason to indulge in yet another shirt from our university…and because we wear them all year long. santa may also bring us something to fill in any wardrobe gaps that have made themselves apparent, or he’ll bring some of our beloved skincare products. santa’s a pretty practical guy.

and yes, Santa visits Brett and me, Mr. Valentine visits Brett and me, the Easter bunny visits Brett and me. it’s more fun that way.

this year Santa’s bringing KK:

this and this bear figurines
- to coordinate with her January bookshelf theme and to use with her sensory table
- Santa will also set out some sort of winter-themed bin in her sensory table to set the bears next to - probably some sort of white bean or white rice for “snow,” and plenty of various scoops, bowls, and spoons
three boards from this shop for her sensory tables
these cups and these cups
- for sensory play and to practice scooping/pouring, but also because KK just loves the clanking sound they make and she loves “stirring” in them with a metal spoon
these resin letters
- while they’re technically magnets for our big ol chalkboard (where KK likes to play while I cook), I also will use these in kk’s sensory table. we currently have these felt letters and I wanted to add to that with another white set of magnets. y’all know me - I try to get kid things in colors that match my home when possible, and IMO you can never have too many alphabet magnets. (KK agrees.) right now KK just loves sticking them on the chalkboard and taking them down (and carrying them arround), but I love that they’ll grow with her - both to build words and also to hang school papers and artwork :)))))

Santa’s bringing us:

UT shirts and a few gardening/nature-themed stickers from this shop for Brett
a UT sweatshirt, this “all i need is more flowers” shirt, and a baseball cap or two for me

what we’re getting from my family

my family does things a little differently. we just like to hang out together - and we don’t exchange gifts per se.

my parents don’t want us spending money - they just want to spend time with us. but my parents love to give very generous gifts - they just ask for direct links to what we’d specifically love to receive. my mom and sister also separately put on a legit christmas gift exchange game involving dice and a bunch of highlyyyy sought-after gift cards and items. (last year there was almost a brawl over a largeeee grocery store gift card.)

so when we go to my parents’ for christmas - whenever that may be - my sisters and I show up completely empty-handed. no food, no gifts, nothing. it’s magical. (my mom went to culinary school for funsies once she became an empty nester, so any holiday spread from her is especially magical.)

and, that said, since we’re not buying gifts for my family, it frees up room in the budget for our personal family christmas.

i usually ask my parents for some sort of nice kitchen tool or nice wardrobe staple, brett always asks for his favorite Lululemon pieces.

what I asked for for KK (and was ordered by my mom today):

these blocks
little steps + little gymnast
lawnmower push toy
pajamas
winter coat + winter boots

what we’re asking for from brett’s family

brett’s mom loves Christmas. in November, she asks for a wishlist of a few items we’d love to have - whether it be direct links to items, Amazon wishlists, or general favorite things we always love receiving.

so this year, we’re sending over a few direct links, as well as a List of Favorite Things and Gift Ideas. that way, if someone just wants to purchase a linked item and be done, they can. but also if someone enjoys searching for The Perfect Gift, our List of Favorite Things and Gift Ideas gives them a lovely place to start.

(we ask that they fill out the List of Favorite Things and Gift Ideas so that we can do the same. it also asks them for food preferences and stuff like that - makes it easier when I’m planning family brunches and such. i’ve loved reading through their answers and dreaming of potential gifts, menus, and activities for the coming year.)

here’s a link to a template of our Favorite Things and Gift Ideas document if you’d like to take a peek or would like inspiration to make your own.

and that’s our Christmas Gift Plan of 2021!